the open space of a re-orbit

In Traverse City, MI, there is a place that sits just off the little town that the locals call 'the open space'. No secret to what it is, just open space. The area is a cool hangout and provides a quick get away, if you need it, from the already small town. I love open space in the physical sense. I love the blank canvas, the open air, the breeze, the change of scenery. All of it seems to bring a refreshing that I can't find in the daily background of where I live. Parks also provide a nice get away so you get my point.However, when it comes to open space in the internal areas of my soul, I do not deal with it well.

I've never been one to attack life. My circumstances growing up only taught me to REACT to life and I've been fighting against this ever since.
I long for structure but want to test authority.
If I am free to roam, I long for boundaries.
If I'm told I can't- I want to.
If I'm told I can- I don't want to. And on and on.....and on.

But at this point in my life, I have entered the open space of my soul. I have re orbited to a place that I'm not too familiar with. After being forced to grow up so fast, I have been able to finally catch up to the speed at which my life was going. For the first time I have ground underneath me on which I can walk and there is a stability that I do not really know what to do with. I guess this is what they call becoming an adult. Funny thing is, though we age, it doesn't always mean we can get to this point.

Of course, there is a huge God story in all of this. I tend to be more Calvin in my theology because I KNOW what is IN me and I KNOW that it has been the grace of God and nothing good in me that has brought me to this point. But what does it all mean?

As I think of it, within the open space is God. Within the Red Sea, God was in the open space. In the desert, God was in the open space. God is always leading us, though the path may be too hard to discern. Up to now, I've been carried most of the way, like the man and the footprints story, but I feel like I've been set down. For me, this is a defining moment, where I turn over the fear of being loved by Love itself. The moment where I start following the Great Navigator of the open space and trust Him. I'm not much for hiking but the journey must continue.

The Way normally is through a crooked and narrow path, but I've reached this open space and I still find this part of the journey less traveled.