time well wasted

All I have heard in my adult life about the subject of time is that time should be managed and spent wisely. I have always agreed until recently. A question occurred to me- Is it possible to properly waste time? For instance right now, is this a good use of time, me blogging, or is it ridiculous?
Does it depend on who you ask?

I think my fantasy football is a proactive way to properly dispose of time. Some employers have argued that is takes away from productivity, I would say that I would rather my employees spend time managing a FFL team than using that 15 minutes to smoke. I think, in fact, a successful FFL team equals higher employee moral compared to darkened lungs.

Is spending time reading and gaining knowledge useful if you have no outlet to which invest your knowledge back in to? Would I be better using my reading time to meet in person with someone to dialog instead?

Even further, some say that time isn't even real but an illusion--- I need more time to think about that---if that is even possible to posses time.

I already have the ability to waste time very well but when it comes to managing time, I'm a push over.


tick...tick.....tick

you make me better

"you plus me- it equals better math
your boy a good look but
she my better half"- Fab

there may be a bit of truth in everything... yes even a rap song.

Being married has been the biggest blessing that God has ever given to my life. The world plants so many negative ideas to being "tied" down to one person that it is almost hilarious when looking back at these ideas from the other side. Marriage was designed by God to be the ultimate relationship between a man and woman. A relationship that allows both people to give themselves fully to each other. A relationship full of vulnerability, passion, service and trust. I've never been loved so much for no reason than I am by Jen. Her selfless service and commitment to me is unparalleled. It's more than her finding my keys and wallet, more than reminding me about the bills and trash and other responsibilities. It is her loving me like Jesus does. It is me being able to be candid and authentic and her still choosing me. It is picking me up when I fall, understanding when I want to talk, allowing me my space, enjoying the joys, enduring the sorrow and caring for me when I am sick. She is the ultimate gift, the greatest wife and she is beyond anything I could dream.

don't get me wrong we still have our issues and it takes a lot of work but it is when I reflect on marriage, I only can smile.

Who knows where I would be without you Jen. You are the beat of my heart and the rhythm in my song. You are on my mind tonight and as you sleep in the next room, just know that I am here, writing and thinking about you. I choose you. I love you.

you make me better

I see clearly through a false lens

just got my new contacts this morning, actually the first ones they gave me two weeks ago were a step down in prescription from my previous lenses, which made no sense, as if vision improves over time. "Yeah we need to bump these up" is what I was told and is what I already knew-----I'm no longer impressed with modern medicinal schooling.

Anyway, my eyes have failed me at 27. Without my contacts I have the vision of a fetus. Able to see within a womb, unable to discern. So then my options are to wear a lens that corrects this or have corrective eye surgery to fix this. I choose to wear the lens. I am thankful for technology and innovative procedures....I was blind but now I see.

That brings me to a new point-

What if I lived in the time of Christ? Those biblical stories of the blind man crying out to the Lord for healing....humbling enough that would be me. With no contact lenses or glasses for that matter I would be left wandering the streets seeing only fuzzy fragments of the world. I'm not pretending to be totally blind because I'm not, my sight being as it is however, would effect the way I would live. I, like the blind man, would not be able to see Jesus walking the streets from a far.

So how now shall I live, being that it is 2007 and technology has come to this point where I can see clearly, though not naturally? There is no contact lens over my perspectives, no glasses in front of my spiritual eyes. Though God allows us to "see" in a sense, Paul still reminds us that Christians only see through a dim sort of mirror. Sure my spiritual perspective and theology has developed since committing to Christ, but I still have trouble seeing myself for who I am in comparison to God. My view of God is still small, regardless of what I say about Him, I see that small view in my actions. I am able to read God's Word, yet understanding it still is eluding as there are always more perspectives. I don't see well with my heart. I follow my eyes and not always the spirit and the journey continues....

But today, I'm thankful for these contact lenses. My physical vision is 20/20 with them in....no small miracle to me.

Spiritually though I am still very near-sighted yet I've learned that Jesus comes to those who call and cannot see well and gives them new vision. It's only a matter of time until He gets to me, will I have the courage to cry out?

marriage dance

I've been asked why I don't dance as much as I used to. Well, the main reason is because Crazy Louies shutdown and I'm not hanging out at the club Thursday through Saturday night anymore. Besides that I've entered in to a new dance, the marriage dance.



Marriage takes work, marriage is hard, marriage takes discipline, marriage takes sacrifice, marriage takes humility, marriage takes teamwork, marriage takes faith, in fact, marriage can take it's toll on you if not prepared....or even if you are prepared. That is the reality. I dated my wife for four years before our engagement and still this is what I'm coming up with. You would think we would have it down by now but we don't....and neither do a lot of couples....and I think that is how its supposed to be.



Yesterday though, Jen and I did this cool pirouette together that showed us the joys of marriage are bountiful and is truly blessed and ordained by the Lord.



When couples are dating, there is pressure in society telling them to dive in "as if married" to see what it is like. Will it work? How can I know I can live with them? How do I know we can be sexually compatible? etc... Many in the church urge couples to put off most intimacies, physical and spiritual until the wedding day. I would agree with that group but it's for a lot more than "the bible says so". God has designed many things for marriage and it's to keep us safe, not to spoil our fun.



For example:



Saving sex for marriage, among other things, allows you to build your relationship on a foundation that is not dependent on physical needs that usually dominate us. It helps develop your friendship. It allows you to get to know your partner in a deeper and more meaningful way. It forces communication and creativity because you begin showing your love in different ways that become more meaningful than one ever thought. It shows that as a couple, you can commit to long term goals that require sacrifice. It shows that you care more about the individual and less about what physical needs of yours they can meet. Besides, what if something came up and you were not able to be physically intimate any longer? Would the marriage still go on? Could you handle that reality? Interesting thought.




Also, anything denied in the short term will be rewarded in the long term. For instance, vacations with your boyfriend\girlfriend are in themselves not bad, but it is what is represents that can become the issue. It represents that the couple cannot put off gratifying their desires for a later time (marriage) when in fact, it is this ability to put off desires that turns in to a strong weapon against the perils that come with marriage. Not having these boundaries opens up the window of infidelity. There is sure to come a time when your spouse will let you down and there will mysteriously be someone else around that seems to pick you up. If you have not learned how to quench your temptations prior to marriage, you will be surprised with how easily you may be overcome by them.

I'm running out of room and time and that is why so many people write books about this stuff.....I'm trying to get a few thoughts down but it is turning in to a book itself. The main point is that God as ordained marriage and it should be held in high regard. It is something that takes preparation, prayer , persistence and rhythm.

So yes, Jen and I continue to dance. We continually do the marriage dance.... and there are always new steps to learn.

Slumber Party?

"Oh wretched Man that I am! that I should sleep in the midst of Difficulty! that I should so indulge the Flesh, as to use that rest, for ease to my flesh, which the Lord of the Hill hath erected only for the relief of the Spirits of Pilgrims! How many steps have I took in vain! and I am made to tread those steps with Sorrow, which I might have trod with Delight, had it not been for this sinful Sleep. How far might have I been on my Way by this time! I am made to tread those steps thrice over, which I needed not to have trod but once: yea, now also I am like to be benighted, for the Day is almost spent: O that I had not slept!"- The Pilgrims Progress



Arise!

Professional Scripture Wrestling

I seem to have taken a summer break from this blogging idea. My brother and sister- in- law are in the fold now so I have found new motivation...

Somehow, about two months back, I must have arrived at the notion that I knew a lot about the Bible. I think the sermon series at church helped this notion by taking a turn toward the desert bar to fill up on whip cream. The ancient stories were all too familiar too me and overall I think I'd probably be obnoxiously good at a biblical trivia game. (Yes, I recognize the pride in this, but that is a given.) I wanted to know how I could arrive at this mind frame. People have scoured the scriptures for thousands of years only to harvest more and more from them. Yes, I have read a decent amount in the last seven years, but nothing along the lines of scholars. So how come I know so much? How come it is not exciting to me? Where did I inherit this infinite knowledge of these ancient texts? Is this a spiritual gifting? Of course I did not really ask myself those questions but I did start again my questioning the text itself and this is where I think, if I could, hit a nerve within God....in a good way though.

There is in all of us, that one thing that gets our blood flowing. That one thing, that when questioned by someone, we are ready to engage with them.

For instance, if I am a Ohio State Buckeye fan who knows all about the rich history of the football program and I meet someone new to the area that has some interest in football, yet unfamiliar with Ohio State, you bet I'm going to be talking and showing and be all pumped up about sharing this information with them hoping to compel them to become a fan.
In a deeper sense this is how I feel God is with His Word. The minute I question His Word, He shows up in a passionate way, excited to dive in with me to show me the depths of His eternal literary work.

"Taste and see that the Lord is good" That verse is becoming the verse of my life. There is an eagerness within God to reveal Himself through His Word, if only I am willing to try it out, to read it, to wrestle with it, to question some meanings within it. If I am not asking questions about God and His word, I am not engaging it. If God's Word will judge the nations, how can I think I know it well enough?

My brother-in-law-and I had a conversation this past weekend about the final judgement of Christians. I could have talked for hours about it as we wrestled with the texts. Though he probably pinned me to the mat, it was fun to discuss the Word and to challenge what we already believe about it. The good thing is that God is not scared of questions- in fact He would rather I ask a question than not ask at all.....

Jacob wrestled with God came up lame, thankfully God has not maimed me....yet :)